Fall into me
by lmarquart414
Summary: Stephanie McMahon and her husband Paul Levesque are over joyed when they learn of their fourth pregnancy, could this be the boy they had always hoped for? How will they cope when a tragedy strikes? Will it bring them closer together or tear them apart? I suck at summaries. Please read and if you like it respond. Thanks
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a Saturday night 10:00 and I was now just getting ready to sit down for the day. Having three young girls kept me on my toes. I forced myself to stay awake until my husband got home, I hadn't seen him in two weeks. I could feel my eyes getting heavy, just as I was almost asleep I heard the door creak open. "Steph are you you?" he called softly as he approached our bed. I sat up and gave him a sleepy smile "I am now" he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. "hmm I missed that" I murmured putting my arms around his neck pulling me closer. "I missed you too, tell your dad to quit giving me such long work schedules" he replied working his lips towards my neck, he always knew which spot to make me feel the best. "well summer is coming up I was thinking the girls and I could come on the road with you for a little while, that way I won't have to miss you so much" I continued talking, it was one of my bad habits talking while he was trying to make love to me. "sounds good, now quiet I'm trying to show my wife how much I missed her" I giggled as his lips came in contact with my neck again.

When you have children you should always expect the unexpected. Not five minutes after our clothes came off, there was a tiny knock at our door. "mommy I scared" it was Vaughn our youngest she was just shy of three years old. "okay sweetie go back to your room and mommy will be right there" I rolled off of Paul and grabbed for my robe. I tied it tightly around my still naked body before I left him alone in our bed.

Once inside her room I climbed into bed next to her. "what scared you baby?" I asked stroking her blonde hair out of her face. "monster did" she snuggled up against my chest. I smiled as she closed her eyes and fell asleep before I could say another word. "sleep tight princess" I kissed her on top of her hair before I decided to go check on our other girls. First I entered Murphy's room she was our middle child, she was almost five. She was sleeping side ways on her double bed clutching the action figure of her father. Of all our girls she was the biggest daddy girl of them all. Her blanket was falling off the bed. I picked it up and covered her with it again. Gently kissing her head before I left her room. Aurora was our oldest and was almost about to turn 7. She was the only one that looked like me. She had my long brunette hair and my eyes, it was a constant joke that I had conceived her alone, and there wasn't a visible trace of Paul in her at all. She was the lightest sleeper, she stirred when I entered her room. "mom is daddy home yet?" she whispered. I nodded "you can see him in the morning sweetheart" I kissed her on her head before I left to let her get back to sleep.

I quietly returned to my bed room. Much like I thought Paul was already asleep. I leaned over and kissed his cheek before I rolled onto my side and went to sleep.

The following morning I woke up to the smell of pancakes, and bacon. I smiled, I loved when Paul was home because I could sleep in and I didn't have to cook. "get up mommy, its breakfast time" Evie which is Vaughn Evelyn's nickname ran into my room covered head to toe in pancake batter. "did you help daddy cook?" I scooped her off the floor and cuddled her against me. She nodded "I good cook" she declared squirming out of my arms she disappeared into the hall. I rolled out of bed and approached my dresser. I grabbed some clothes and changed into them before I headed downstairs to join my family.

"morning beautiful" Paul called to me from the stove. I smiled he was wearing his chef hat and apron that the girls bought him for Christmas. "morning" I replied taking a seat at the counter. "I'll take your order mommy what would you like?" Murphy asked bringing a notepad with her. She was playing waitress. "I'll take a cup of coffee and one of daddy's famous blueberry pancakes and some bacon" she smiled up at me as she pretended to write my order down. "did you hear that daddy?" she shouted. "sure did baby girl, you can go on break now" he told her as he fixed my plate of food. "this smells delicious" I picked up my fork to take a bite. The smells suddenly gave me the urge to throw up. I threw the fork down and covered my mouth while I ran to the bathroom.

My knees hit the floor just in time for the contents of my already empty stomach to be poured into the toilet. "what's wrong mommy?" Aurora entered the bathroom after me. "nothing sweetie mommy must be coming down with a little flu" I felt better so I reached for a towel to wipe my face. I grabbed a toothbrush and brushed my teeth to get rid of the taste of vomit. "are you okay Steph?" Paul hugged me once I entered the kitchen again. I leaned my head against his chest "yeah I must be getting sick" I shrugged. "you're not.." he paused not wanting to say it in front of the children. Now that he mentioned it my monthly visitor hadn't come yet. "I don't know, I thought we were done having kids. What if I am?" I whispered it to him. A smile formed on his face "I'll go get you a test and some saltines and ginger ale, you have that glow about you. Maybe this is our chance to have our boy" he kissed me on the forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Paul returned in half an hour carrying the bag that had the test that would answer our questions. He handed me it with a smile. "you know I kind of hope you are" he was excited I could tell. "well we will know in a few minutes" I pecked his lips quickly before I entered the bathroom. "What's mommy doing?" Murphy asked climbing into Paul's lap. "nothing sweetie she will be right out, why don't you and your sisters get dressed we are going to go to the park today" he told them. They cheered and all scattered running to their bedrooms.

The box said it takes up to three minutes for the results to be displayed but after a minute the test was done. "pregnant" I said it out loud to myself. I had always wanted a big family but we both agreed that three kids were enough now here we were going to add a fourth. Paul opened the door, I knew he couldn't wait to find out the results. "so what does it say?" I handed the test over to him. "yes!" he shouted. He tossed the test into the trash and lifted me in his arms. "don't squeeze to hard" I reminded him. "sorry, I'm just so excited" he showered my face with kisses. I giggled, I was always really ticklish. "should we tell the girls?" I asked him. He nodded "lets tell them over dinner, we can go to your parents tonight and tell everyone together" I hugged him again. I was nervous at first but couldn't wait to welcome another baby into ourlives.

_ five months later _

Unlike when I was pregnant with our three girls I felt amazing this time, that had convinced us that we were having a boy. We weren't going to find out we wanted it to be a surprised. I hadn't gained as much weight and the morning sickness didn't last longer than a week. Since I had found out I was pregnant Paul made sure he came home more often. "mommy when is the baby going to be born?" Aurora asked as I brushed her hair and put it into two neat French braids. "in about three months" I replied. She turned around with a smile. "this is my brother I know it" I laughed, Paul must have been telling them it was a boy. "well I hope so sweetie, if not you will have another baby sister how do you feel about that?" I asked her. "ugh, not another one to steal my toys" she rolled her eyes and made a face that was all so familiar to me, the same face I made when I didn't like something.

"go get your shoes, I need to get your sisters ready, we are going to go to the doctors and then we will stop by the store to get a present for the baby" she skipped out of the living room towards the stairs. "Evie, Murphy Claire come here" I yelled for them. They came into the living room running almost banging heads in the process. "where we going momma?" Evie asked climbing into my lap. "going to the doctors to check out how the baby is doing." I pulled the brush through her blonde hair and gathered it into a single pony tail, that was about all she would sit still for. "can we get ice cream after please mommy?" Murphy stuck out her lower lip. I laughed, my children were adorable and always knew how to get me to say yes. "if you three are good we can" "yay" she clapped her hands together. "yay" Evie copied her.

Paul was meeting us at the doctors, today we were getting an ultrasound done. I wondered if he was going to cave in and want to know what we were having.

It took me an hour to get the kids loaded and arrive at the doctors office. "daddy" the three of them raced each other to reach Paul first. "how are my three princess'?" he asked kissing them each on the head. "we get ice cream if we good" Murphy smiled proud of herself that she got me to agree. Paul looked at me, I shrugged my shoulders "I can't say no to that face, plus baby number four could go for some ice cream right now" I smirked at him. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips softly. "how is my son treating you" I gave him that look, I was afraid that he would get so set on this baby being a boy that if it wasn't he would be disappointed.

Waiting was always the worst part. Paul held my hands as I laid on the table waiting for the doctor to come into the room. "how are you feeling today?" she asked taking a seat by the edge of the table. "surprisingly great, I could be pregnant forever with this one and not even cared" I joked. "that's cause he treats his mommy better than his sisters did" Paul added into the conversation. "well today we can find out if you want to" she grabbed the gel and squeezed a good amount onto my rounding stomach. I smiled up at Paul. "so everything looks great so far, you have a healthy baby. Here is a side shot of the face, measuring a little big for six months but that really isn't anything to be concerned about." The doctor spoke as she moved the wand over my stomach making different images of the baby appear. "that's my brother" Evie shouted pointing to the screen. Paul and I laughed "do you want to know the sex?" the doctor asked. I gave Paul a look, I wanted to know I was dying to know. "yeah why not" he replied. He squeezed my hand tighter, I knew he was nervous because he was afraid of how he would feel if it was another girl. "okay lets see if this baby is going to work with me today" she moved the wand down towards the legs. After a few moments of silence she smiled "you got your boy, see right there" she pointed on the screen where his little wee-wee was. "yes! Finally a boy!" Paul shouted. He pressed his lips to mine quickly. "I'll get these pictures printed out for you and I'll be right back.

"yay we are having a brother" Aurora shouted jumping up and down. She had been asking for a brother for a while. "brother yay" Murphy chimed in coping her older sister. "me brother" Evie held out her arms for Paul to pick her up. "yes you are having a brother" I looked up at him and noticed he had tears in his eyes. I'm glad I could finally make his dream of having a son come true.

In the days that followed my appointment Paul drug me to every store imaginable to pick out everything blue. He was more excited than I was I bet. "finally a blue room, no more pink" he picked up more boy stuff. "so what are we going to name the little guy?" I asked. He paused "what do you want to name him? I never really cared for my name so I don't want to name him after me" he replied picking out a few more boy outfits. "how about after my dad? I suggested as we headed towards the checkout lines. He smiled "okay little Vince it is" he laughed lightly. I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach. Vincent was kicking like crazy. "I think he likes his name" Paul rubbed my stomach which just made the baby kick more.

Paul helped me into the car before he loaded everything into his Hummer, he had gone a little over board but I figured he deserved it since he had waited so long to have this boy. "he is going to be spoiled, he is going to have a bunch of mommies to look after him" I spoke as he started the car and we headed to pick up our girls from Shane's house. Marissa was watching them while we shopped. "he sure will just don't turn him into a sissy like your brothers boys" Paul joked with me. "I'll try not to" I teased him back.

I stayed in the car while Paul went in to get the girls. It was getting late and Aurora and Murphy had school tomorrow. "daddy can I help paint brothers room?" Evie asked removing her thumb from her mouth long enough to speak. She plopped it back in sucking furiously at it. It was tough to break her of that habit. "sure thing baby girl, Rory, Murphy you want to help daddy too?" he asked. "I help too" Murphy's hand shot up in the air. "I don't want to paint" Aurora replied going back to the book she was reading. I can't believe my first baby is so grown up already. "so what is brothers name?" Murphy asked. Paul and I smiled at each other. "we are naming him after Grandpa" Paul answered. Murphy got a confused look on her face "so his name is grandpa" Laughter escaped my mouth. "no sweetie, his name is going to be Vincent" Murphy laughed along even though she didn't know what was so funny.

By the time we reached our house Vaughn and Murphy were asleep. Aurora was fighting her sleep, she was good at that. Paul parked in the garage and picked up our two youngest girls at the same time, he was strong enough to carry them both in at the same time.

"Aurora time to take a bath" I called to her interrupting her reading. "okay mommy" she didn't fight me tonight, she must have been tired. I entered the bathroom and turned the water on for her, leaving a clean pair of pajamas and a towel on the counter. "and make sure you actually use soap" I reminded her. She rolled her eyes shutting me out of the bathroom.

I walked over to the couch and stretched out on it, putting my feet up. Standing on them for a while has been making them swell bad. "need a foot rub?" Paul offered sitting at the edge of my feet. I smiled "that sounds great" he helped me take my shoes off before he started to rub them. "I love you Steph" he still had the ability to make me have butterflies when he told me that. "I love you too" I motioned with my index finger for him to come closer to my lips so I could kiss him. "eww gross" Aurora stood in the door way with the brush tangled in her long brown locks. "we will continue this later" I winked at him as I attempted to get off the couch so I could go brush our daughter's hair.

"mommy daddy seems so happy about a boy, does he love Vincent more than he loves me" Aurora asked I could tell she was struggling to not cry. I turned her around wrapping my arms around her. "you listen to me Aurora Rose, your daddy loves you, having a brother isn't going to change that. He just wants a boy to do boy stuff with like play sports, and stuff like that sweetie. You are daddy's princess" I reassured her. She leaned up and kissed my cheek. "okay mommy" she wiped at her eyes and turned back around so I could finish her hair. "are you happy mommy is having a baby?" I asked her. She remained quiet "I guess, I mean you are already so busy with Murphy Claire, and Evie that you don't have much time to do stuff with me" she sounded so sad. "how about this I promise we will start having big girl days together more often, we can get pedicures and get our hair done together, and how abut I take you shopping and let you pick out your own clothes" I knew that would get her excited. "do you mean it mom? I can pick my own clothes?" she bounced up and down on the bed. "I think you are old enough now" I kissed her on the forehead after I stood up. I pulled her pink zebra blanket up to her waist. "goodnight mommy, goodnight Vinnie" she leaned over and kissed my belly. "night Rory, sleep tight"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

*Seven months pregnant*

"okay keep your eyes closed" Paul was holding my hand and led me up the stairs towards the bed room that once was used for storage. "they are closed" I giggled cause I was peeking through my fingers. "okay you can open your eyes now" he pushed open the cherry brown door. Inside the room was completely different, it almost looked bigger. He had transformed this room into some magnificent. "it's beautiful" I smiled walking around admiring the décor that he had chosen. He did great considering I didn't help at all. "glad you like it" he took a seat in the rocking chair that was in front of the window. Everything was so blue in this room, hopefully Vincent would like blue. "now I just can't wait for that little boy to get here" Paul pulled me down on his lap and placed his hand on my stomach. "I'm glad you are so happy" I leaned back resting against his chest. "thank you for making me so happy" he kissed the side of my neck. "I better get going if I'm going to pick up Rory and Murphy" I stood up. "I'll do it today, why don't you go take a nap with Evie, you should be resting. You remember what the doctor said. "okay I'll try to take a nap but I don't think your son is going to let me. Everytime I lay down he thinks its time to roll around in there" I placed my hand on my stomach and Vincent gave a big kick. I smiled. "I'll be back, what do you want to do for dinner tonight babe" he asked me as he stood by the door way. "surprise me, just pick something up, I'm too tired to cook" I sat down in his place and gently rocked holding my hand on my stomach.

"mommy I'm hungry" Evie came into Vincent's nursey dragging her over sized bear, she refused to let me wash it so it was filthy. "what do you want to eat little lady bug?" I asked as she climbed into my lap, my stomach took up most of the space so I couldn't hold her very well. "grilled cheese, and mommy tell Vincent to share mommy's lap" she made an angry face as she slid off my legs. I laughed "you hear that Vincent your sister wants you to share" I spoke to my stomach. "he's not listening" Evie spoke referring to my stomach still being in the way. "that's cause he doesn't have a lot of space in there he will be out in a few months" I grabbed her hand and we walked down the steps together.

Vaughn sat at the counter while I cooked her grilled cheese. It only took five minutes and every few seconds I was doubled over in pain. By the time Paul walked in I could barely stand up straight anymore. "daddy mommy sick" Evie yelled as he walked into the house. Paul rushed into the kitchen and helped me over to the chair. "what's wrong?" he asked, I could tell he was trying to pretend to be calm when he was really frantic. "Contractions" I paused as I felt my legs soak with water. "and my water just broke" I started to cry, it was too early to have this baby. Paul rushed out of the kitchen leaving me alone, I could hear him yelling on the phone, he always yelled when he was scared.

My parents arrived in five minutes which shocked me since they lived at least twenty minutes away. "we will stay with the kids, you get her to the hospital" my mother was trying to be strong in front of me but I could see she was worried as well. I couldn't stop thinking about all that could go wrong right now, I never had any complications in my other pregnancies what if Vincent wasn't alright?

Paul drove like a maniac to the hospital, he didn't bother parking the car just left it sitting with the keys in it so he could carry me into the hospital. We headed straight for labor and delivery since we knew where we were going. "we need a doctor now" Paul shouted. A nurse approached where he stood with me in his arms, my water was still dripping on the floor. "calm down sir, what is the problem?" she brought a wheel chair so he could set me down. "my wife is In premature labor, she is only 7 months and her water broke" he relaxed a little bit. I just sat there feeling like I was frozen. I didn't know how to feel or what to think.

It took less then ten minutes for me to be admitted, changed, and have an iv hooked up. The doctor entered the room shortly after to check if I was dilating. "so it seems like you are about 4 to 5 centimeters, so you are going to be having this baby today" I sighed, tell me something I didn't know like was my baby going to be alright, he was going to be tiny. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as silent tears ran down my face.

I felt a hand on mine, "it's going to be alright Steph" Paul spoke softly to me. I opened my eye buts remained quiet. "but what if he isn't okay? Its my fault I should have listened to the doctor and took it easy" I whispered. Paul leaned over and kissed my head "don't say that, you didn't cause this baby, and he will be okay I promise" I closed my eyes again, how could he promise something that he had no control over. I clutched my stomach as another round of contractions started.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It wasn't long after we arrived at the hospital that it was time for me to push. I was terrified, I wanted to close my legs and just be able to hold him in because I knew he wasn't ready for the world yet, unfortunately he didn't know that. "okay Stephanie we are going to need you to give a small push, I don't think it is going to take much to get that baby out of you" the doctor was standing at the foot of the bed dressed for the delivery already. I took a deep breath in and held it as I pushed, it was probably the easiest push ever, I felt the baby slid out of my body.

Silence filled the room as they attempted to work on him. I was able to catch a small glimpse of him, I looked over at Paul who was crying. As the tears began to flood my blue eyes I heard the tiniest cry I think I've ever heard, which only made me cry more. "he is going to go to the NICU once we have him stable you can come see him" the doctor explained on his way out of the room. Paul approached my bedside once it was just us in the room and grabbed my hand. "how did he look?" I asked softly, I knew he had gotten a better look at him than I did. "small, and fragile" he gave my hand a squeeze. "I'm scared" I confessed to him moving over so he could come into the bed with me. He nodded "me too" he let out a deep breath, I had never seen him so scared before.

Two hours after I gave birth we were finally allowed to go to the NICU to see Vincent. I broke down crying as I slowly approached the bed where he laid, tubes and wires crisscrossed every which way. It wasn't fair my baby shouldn't have to go through this. "how much does he weigh?" I turned to see Paul talking to the nurse. "he is 3 lbs 8 oz, so while he may look small he is a good weight for being born so early, and he only needs a little help to breathe right now, he's a tough little guy" I watched her smile. I wanted to slap the smile off her face, how could she smile right now, he shouldn't have to be tough he is just a little baby. "so how long do you think it will be until we can take him home?" Paul continued his conversation while I just sat there staring at Vincent. He was so tiny compared to his three sisters when they were born, I had never seen a baby this small. "I really don't have the answer for that, you could ask the doctor when she comes in" he nodded and left where he was standing to join me by his bed. I felt his hand on my shoulder and glanced up giving him a fake smile. "he's cute, I just can't get over how tiny he is" Paul pulled up a chair and joined me. Together we watched our tiny boy breathe in and out while he slept. I couldn't stop feeling like this was my fault, I should have done a better job protecting him.

I was released from the hospital the following morning, there was no need for me to stay, I wish I could have stayed so Vincent wasn't alone but I couldn't. "we will come see him every day babe don't worry" Paul was taking this a lot better than I was, but I guess that's because it wasn't his fault it was mine. "I don't want to leave him this doesn't feel right" I started to cry as we reached the car. Paul helped me into the car shutting the door once I was situated inside. "you just rest when we get home, I'll take care of the girls" he patted my hand as he started the car and we headed home.

The sound of laughter from our three girls was the only thing that could actually make me smile right now. "mommy! Daddy!" the three of them shouted racing to get to us first. "were you girls good for grandpa and grandma?" I asked kneeling down so I could hug them all at the same time. "of course we were mommy, I'm always good" Aurora answered wrapping her arms around my neck. "where is baby brother?" Murphy questioned when she noticed there wasn't a baby with us. Paul scooped her up and sat down on the couch with her. "here are some pictures of him, he is still at the hospital because he is sick but he will be home soon to be with us" he flipped through his phone showing her the pictures. Aurora left my side and climbed onto her dads lap so she could see the pictures as well. "mommy I missed you" Evie smiled wrapping her arms around my leg. "I missed you too baby girl" I picked her up and held her close to my chest. These three girls were the only reason I wasn't breaking down right now. I had to be strong, not only for the girls but for Vincent.

My mom stayed and made lunch for the girls, I wasn't hungry. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. "how are you feeling princess?" my dad asked sitting down at the edge of the sofa where my body wasn't covering it. I sat up a little and opened my eyes. "drained, and sad because my baby should be here with me not in the hospital by his self" I could feel the tears filling up my eyes and about to start pouring out but I stopped myself. "it's going to be alright Stephanie, you just have to believe that. He will be home in no time" I remained quiet and situated myself so I was in my daddy's arms. It's funny no matter how old you get my dad's arms were still one of the safest places I knew.

1 Month later

Life went on as normal as possible. With each visit to the hospital Vincent was getting stronger and bigger, only about another month or so until we would be able to bring him home. I blamed it on the guilt of him being born early, but this time I couldn't bounce back to my normal self as fast. I often found myself crying when I was alone for no reason. I tried to stay strong in front of others, I didn't want them to see me cry.

"Mommy when can I see Vinnie?" Aurora asked as I tucked her into bed that night. We were going to go see him once the girls were asleep, Marissa and Shane were going to come over and watch them for us. "I think you are old enough, do you want to come with us to see him tonight?" I asked. She smiled brightly and nodded her head quickly. Her brown hair bounced in her face, I swept it back behind her ears. "can I mommy, I'm going to bring him my favorite bear" she jumped off her bed and scrambled around her room looking for the bear. "I'll go tell daddy you are coming with us, but don't tell Murphy or Evie because they aren't old enough to come okay sweetie" I told her before I left the room in search of Paul. "Murphy is asleep, now time to get Evie down" he smiled closing Murphy's door behind him gently. "Rory wants to come to the hospital to see Vincent, mind if she does?" I hadn't even thought to ask him before I told her she could, so hopefully he would say yes. "I guess, but Steph do you really think she should see him like that, I mean I know he is getting better and the wires are getting removed but she is still a little young" he was in his lecture mode. I rolled my eyes walking away from him.

I entered Vaughn's room, she was already sleeping soundly. She had her thumb hanging out of her mouth and her blanket was at the bottom of her feet. "sweet dreams baby girl" I tucked the blanket up around her and kissed her on the top of her head gently. She stired when I got up "mommy" she whispered. "yes Evie" I replied to her. "I love you" she smiled closing her eyes again. That brought a smile to my face, I would never get tired of hearing that. "I love you too" I kissed her on the head again before I crept out of her room.

Aurora was in the living room waiting with Paul, Shane and Marissa had just arrived with their boys. "Thanks for coming over and watching them, I feel bad having to keep ask mom" I hugged Shane and Marissa quickly, I left the living room and grabbed my purse so we could get to the hospital. I didn't want Aurora to stay out to late.

The ride to the hospital was silent, aside from the few times Aurora asked us questions about Vincent, I could tell Paul was mad at me and I was just in a bad mood. It seemed like we did more fighting since I had Vincent than we had ever done before. He pulled into a parking spot and I opened my door before he shut off the car. I helped Rory out of the car and grabbed her hand. "mommy do you think Vincent knows who I am?" she looked up at me as we walked. "yes Rory, he knows you're his big sister, daddy and I tell him stories about you Murphy and Evie all the time" I reassured her. "good cause I tell all my friends about him too at school" she smiled. We reached the hospital doors before Paul did. I could tell he was angry by the look on his face when he reached us. "couldn't even wait for me?" he hissed. I rolled my eyes and continued walking pretending I didn't hear him.

Once we were upstairs outside of the NICU Aurora started to cry. "what's wrong princess?" Paul picked her up off the ground. "Is Vinnie in pain?" she continued to cry laying her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her back softly "no sweetie he isn't in pain, that is why he is here so he can get better and come home with us" he explained walking through the door. I watched him approach Vincent's bassinet with her. She had stopped crying and was now smiling. "good news for both of you, he is taking all his feedings by himself, has already gained two pounds and doesn't need any help breathing it will be about another week and then he will be able to come home" Sophie, the night nurse who we had grown use to told us once I was in the room with them. "wow that is amazing, just one more week of this and then we can get back to normal" I hugged Paul and Aurora, I was happy.

We stayed for half an hour before Aurora was getting to sleepy so we decided it would be best to head home.

I climbed into the back seat with Aurora and let her lean on me so she could go to sleep. I wanted to say something to Paul so many times but I stopped myself, I didn't know how to talk to him anymore. "so a week, that is exciting" he finally spoke to me. "very exciting" I replied a small smile on my face. Things felt like they were going to get better, our family would be complete in just one week.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

-Three weeks later-

I should have been happier to have Vincent home but he was a difficult baby. Paul was back to being out on the road and only home on weekends, I was stuck taking care of all four of the kids by myself. In front of people I put on a brave face, fake smiles and often found myself lying about how great of a baby Vincent was, when really all I wanted to do was cry, after all that is all that he ever did.

It was Monday morning, I was trying to get Aurora and Murphy ready for school while managing to feed Vaughn and Vincent at the same time. "mommy me want sketti for breakfast" Vaughn shouted at me as I juggled three bowls, the milk and cereal to bring it to the table. "sorry Evie, no Sketti for breakfast maybe for dinner" I sighed this was a lot tougher than it was transitioning from two to three children. "I don't want that cereal mom, I wanted bacon and pancakes" Aurora sat down at the table, she was at least learning how to be a little more independent she picked out her own clothes and even brushed her own hair. "I'm sorry I don't have time to make that Rory, I'll make it for you Saturday" I was exhausted, Vincent hadn't slept much last night. "when's daddy coming home" Murphy whined coming into the kitchen still dressed in her pajama's. "not till the end of the week Smurf" I helped her into her chair and poured her bowl of cereal. "thank you mommy" she smiled up at me, at least one child didn't complain about breakfast.

Just as I was about to sit down Vincent started screaming at the top of his lungs. "I'll get him mommy" Aurora jumped up. I stood up "No, Rory finish your breakfast and help Murphy pick out clothes for school please" I exited the kitchen and entered the living room to get Vinnie from his pack N Play where I had just put him down to sleep in twenty minutes before that. "what's wrong baby boy?" I asked him as I cuddled him against my body. I sat down in the chair and undid my bra so I could feed him. He continued to scream, maybe he wasn't hungry. "mommy whats wrong with Vinnie?" Aurora came into the living room. "he must have a belly ache Ror" I explained as I stood up to sway back and forth with him in my arms, that did the trick he fell asleep again and was quiet. I knew it wouldn't last long, it never did.

Thirty minutes later I loaded the kids into my silver SUV. "I get the front seat" Aurora raced towards the car dragging her back pack on the ground. I sighed, this was going to be a long week. "no I do" Murphy shouted running after her. "girls don't run, and Rory gets the front seat. Smurf you're too little to sit up front" I settled the fight before it escalated into crying and yelling. "not fair" Murphy stamped her feet and threw her back pack onto the ground before she sat down next to it. "Murphy Claire get your little butt up and in the car now, or you can't stay up and watch daddy on TV tonight" I knew that would get her up, if she could have it her way she would be on the road with Paul; she was defiantly a daddy's girl.

Taking four kids anywhere has become a hassle. Just as I was pulling out of the drive way Vinnie started crying again, he was probably hungry now. Of course he would be hungry now. I pulled back up and turned the car off, I was on the verge of tears already and it wasn't even 8:00 yet. "mommy we are going to be late" Murphy urged from the back seat. "everyone out of the car, no one is going to school today" I yelled, I never yell at my children but I was in way over my head.

"yay no school!" Aurora didn't even notice that I had raised my voice. She was the first one to get out of the car. "mommy I want daddy" Murphy was in tears when I opened the back door for her. "mommy didn't mean to yell Smurf I'm just tired" I knelt down and hugged her, she didn't hug me back. "mean mommy" she shoved me a little before she ran towards the back yard. I sighed "Evie come on sweetie" I called to her gentle, she was sleeping with her head against the window. "morning mommy" she smiled as I helped her out of the car, I unbuckled Vincent and lifted him out of his seat, he was still crying hysterically. I'm glad we finally got Paul's boy because I'm never having another baby again.

Inside the house the girls ran wild, normally they were calm and quiet I don't know what go into them today. I took Vincent up to his room where it was quiet and sat down to nurse him. He ate till he was full and fell asleep. I smiled as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. Finally peace and quiet. I stood from the rocking chair and approached his crib, laid him down as gently as I could, not two seconds later his eyes were wide open and he was crying yet again.

"what am I going to do with you Vinnie you won't give mommy a break" I spoke to him as if he could answer me as I lifted him from the crib again. I can't remember any of our girls being so difficult when they were babies.

After two hours of crying I finally got him to settle down for a real nap. I closed the door behind me and walked down the stairs to see what my girls were up to. Aurora was lounging on the couch watching TV, Murphy was nowhere in sight and Vaughn was coloring on the walls. "Evie, that is bad" I scolded her taking the marker off of her. "Rory where is Murphy?" I asked her. She shrugged "I'm trying to watch Tv mommy watch out" she shooed me away. "enough go to your room" I grabbed the remote from her and turned off the TV. Aurora stormed away making sure to stomp her feet and slam her door as loud as possible to let me know she was angry with me. "me sowwy mommy" Evie hugged my legs. I smiled down at her "it's okay baby girl" I lifted her up and kissed her on the cheek. "I know where Murphy is" she squirmed to get out of my arms. "where is she?" I asked setting her down on the floor. "follow me" she motioned with her hand for me to come with her. I laughed as I followed her.

Murphy was in Paul's office laying under his desk. "Smurfie girl come here" I knelt before the desk so I was on her level. "you yelled at me, I'm mad at you" she turned and buried her head in her Triple H blanket. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you" she still refused to look at me, I could hear her sniffle, she was crying. "how about I let you call daddy" I offered; that got her to turn her head. A small smile crept across her face, she had her daddy's smile. She crawled out from under the desk and I handed her the phone.

She waited patiently for Paul to answer. "daddy, it's Murphy" she spoke into the receiver. "Murphy baby what are you doing home from school?" I could hear him ask her. "mommy had a break down" I gave her a look, what did she know about break downs and I certainly didn't have one. "let me talk to mommy dear" she nodded and handed me the phone before she skipped out of the room with a smile on her face.

"I didn't have a break down" I spoke before he even got a chance too. "you know you can call my mom, she can come stay with you for a while" he offered. I sighed, I could do this it was just a little tougher to get Vincent on a schedule. "I'm fine honestly, and I didn't have the breakdown Vincent did as soon as we pulled out of the drive way. They were going to be late so I just figured they could stay home today no harm done" I explained myself. "I'll be home on Thursday this week so when I get home you can take a break you sound stressed" he stated something that was obvious, of course I was stressed it was tough taking care of four kids on little sleep. I smiled "okay I can't wait to see you" I whispered into the phone. "me too babe, I love you. Take it easy and maybe you can see if Marissa wants to come over just for an hour to let you take a nice bath or something" he suggested I get help again. I was starting to feel like he thought I was worthless, I didn't need help I was a good mother. "well I better go see what our daughters are up to, I'll call you tonight after everyone is sleeping" I hung up the phone before he could even reply.

"girls what are you all doing?" I called as I left Paul's office shutting the door behind me. Aurora was sitting watching TV while Murphy and Vaughn played on the floor together. "what do you girls want to do for dinner tonight?" I asked them again since none of them had spoken up before. "chicken nuggets" Aurora answered barely leaving her eyes away from the TV. "sketti" Vaughn shouted with excitement. "what about you Smurf what do you want?" I smoothed her blonde hair out of her face. "I don't care" she replied. All I wanted was to be closer with her, she had grown so distant from me and it is just becoming more and more distant as time goes on. "I'm sure you must want something" I continued to pressure her to answer me. "umm… pizza" she tapped her chin while she answered. I smiled "okay we will have pizza tonight" I wanted to make her happier. "no fair mommy I wanted chicken nuggets" Aurora whined as she stormed off to her room. "no sketti mommy?" Vaughn sounded so sad. "how about we have spaghetti tomorrow baby girl" I offered a compromise. She nodded, smiled and continued playing with her barbies.

I took a seat on the couch and just as I was getting ready to relax Vincent started to cry. "be good while I go get your brother" I told them kissing them both on top of their heads before I left the living room. "I'm coming Vinnie" I called as I climbed the steps. When I went into his room Aurora was in there with her hands through the crib. "I gave him is binky mommy" she smiled up at me. "thank you Rory girl" I gave her a hug. "can we have nuggets for lunch?" she twisted her fingers in my hair as she asked. I smiled "we sure can, why don't you go play with your sisters while I feed your brother" I suggested. "I'm going to go read in my room" she left the room, I heard her bed room door shut. I picked Vincent out of his crib and sat down on the rocking chair with him. "what's the matter little man?" I spoke as I started to nurse him. He didn't eat much, and started crying as soon as I pulled my shirt back down. "shh don't cry baby" I bounced him but that only seemed to make the crying worse.

With all the crying I lost track of time. "mommy is it lunch time yet?" Murphy creeped into his room on her tip toes. "yeah I'm going to make lunch as soon as I put Vinnie down okay sweetie" I glanced at my watch it was past 12, boy this little boy could cry. "nuggets for lunch don't forget mommy" Aurora reminded me. "I remember, go get my phone I'm going to see if Aunt Rissa wants to come over for lunch" she nodded and ran from my sight. "Vinnie boy why are you always crying, I just don't know what to do with you." He was quiet now; but it was my turn to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Marissa came over, I had her stop and get McDonalds for the girls for lunch. She had Rogan with her since Declan and Kenyon were both in school. "Didn't send the girls to school again?" she questioned me. I shrugged and lowered my eyes to Vincent who was sleeping quietly in my arms. "he wouldn't stop crying, I can't nurse and drive at the same time" I defended myself in a snippy tone. "no need to get an attitude, I was only asking"

The girls ate quietly at the kitchen table while Marissa sat in the living room with me. "you don't look good Steph, are you eating enough?" she must have noticed that I had already dropped a bunch of weight. "I eat, when I can. Vinnie doesn't sleep like ever. I don't think he likes me" I laughed but I was serious. She gave a slight laugh too "I'm sure he likes you Steph, maybe he has colic" she suggested. "Possibly, didn't Rogan have that?" she nodded "it's tough but you'll get through it. Just make sure you get breaks when Paul comes home, and I'm sure your mom would love to come help when she can" she continued telling me what I should do and I felt like yelling at her. I was dealing as best as I could, it's not like I wasn't trying, why they didn't get that I'll never understand.

"can you watch him so I can take a shower, maybe a nap" I let out a long yawn. "sure, I can do that" she picked him up from me and he let out a small whine, I hope he didn't start crying again I really couldn't handle hearing that anymore today.

I walked up the stairs towards my bedroom and undressed before entering the master bath that was attached to the bedroom. I stepped into the steaming shower and let out a sigh of relief. The hot water and silence was like heaven to me right now. No kids, no baby crying nothing just me and the water. I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. Once it was cold I turned it off and stepped out onto the mat, I listened and still heard silence. Vinnie must have been asleep still.

I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a tank shirt that became wet from my hair. I walked down the steps and was surprised to see Vincent awake and actually not crying for once. "he didn't cry at all?" I asked almost sad to hear he didn't, knowing that he was quiet for Marissa made me feel inferior as his mother. She smiled "nope he was good, woke up pretty much right after you went upstairs" I forced myself to smile. She made it look so easy, what was wrong with me that I couldn't even take care of my own baby. "I'm not going to take a nap, you can go now" I was angry at her even though I had no reason to be, she hadn't done anything wrong. "okay, are you okay Steph?" she handed Vincent back to me and grabbed Rogan's hand. "I'm fine, will everyone quit asking me that" I snapped at her. "say no more, I'm out of here" she left in a hurry.

"are you feeling better baby?" I spoke softly to Vincent and like always he started crying right away. "why don't you like me I don't understand" I cried along with him. "mommy why are you crying?" Aurora entered the living room and sat next to me on the couch. "I'm just stressed Rory. That's all" I tried to stop myself from crying I didn't want my girls to see me like this. "don't cry, I can take care of Vincent for you" she smiled, every day she sounded older and older. I gave a smile back before I answered "I don't think so sweetie"

"ah okay mom I was just trying to help" she scooted off the couch and left the living room. I did my best to quiet Vincent's crying but it took me a while. By the time he was settled down it was practically time for dinner, I sure hope things would get better soon.

"mommy I'm hungry" Murphy came and snuggled up against me on the couch, that was a first. "still want pizza?" I asked. She shook her head no "I want chicken and mash potatoes and corn" "okay let me go get started on making that for you sweetheart" I kissed her forehead leaving her on the couch by herself. "mommy can I sleep with you tonight?" Aurora appeared in the kitchen. "why Rory?" I didn't answer but asked her a question of my own. "because I miss you, Vincent takes all your time" she lowered her eyes to the floor. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her "okay just for tonight though than it is back to your own bed tomorrow" I kissed her on the top of her head. "yay thank you mommy" she squeezed me tightly. "I sweep with you too mommy" Evie heard me tell Aurora that she could sleep with me. "of course little princess" I smiled at her. She smiled and went back to coloring on her papers. I glanced at Murphy waiting for her to ask to sleep with me too but she didn't.

I was surprised that I made it through cooking dinner and was able to eat before Vincent was crying again, that was a new record. "time for baths girls, let me change Vinnie and feed him and I'll be up to give you three a bath" I cleared the dishes off the table placing them in the sink, I would get to cleaning them tomorrow. "okay mommy" Aurora replied. Murphy walked over and hugged me "thanks for dinner mommy" it was almost a whisper. "you are very welcome Smurfie girl anything for you" I smoothed her blonde locks behind her ears before she ran off to join her sisters.

An hour and a half later the three girls were bathed, dressed in Pajamas and had all brushed their hair and teeth and were ready for bed. I nursed Vincent and he was sleeping. I put him in the bassinet near my bed, flipping on the switch so it would rock him a little hopefully he would sleep a little better tonight, I didn't need him waking up Rory and Evie since they were sleeping with me tonight. I left them in my room and went to tuck Murphy in. "mommy can I sleep with you too?" I smiled "of course you can, do you want to bring your daddy blanket?" I asked her. She shook her head no "I don't need it tonight because I'll be with you" she grabbed my hand. Maybe finally something had changed I was happy that Murphy wasn't being so distant anymore.

All the kids were asleep now it was my turn to get some sleep. I flicked the lamp off and pulled the blanket up over my arms, it was a good thing we had a king size bed. I smiled at my girls, Murphy was sleeping right next to me, than it was Evie and Aurora was on the end.

I got two hours of sleep before Vincent started to cry. I turned the light on and picked him up quickly I didn't need him waking up the other kids. I nursed him while we laid in bed. I smiled he actually went right back to sleep maybe things were getting better and I just needed to relax a little more.

Thursday morning came and Paul had finally come home. "daddy!" Murphy jumped off the chair where she was eating her breakfast and ran into his arms. He picked her up and squeezed her "I missed you daddy" she snuggled her head against him. "I missed you too Smurf" he kissed her on her forehead before he lowered her to the ground again. He came into the kitchen; Murphy in tow. "mommy daddy is home" she shouted with excitement. I laughed "I can see that Murphy, he is" I smiled at him. "how are you doing Rory" he hugged her, she just shrugged "I'm okay" she went back to eating her breakfast. "hi daddy" Evie spoke with a mouth full of cereal, milk squirted everywhere. "eww gross" Aurora shrieked when some of Vaughn's milk got on her. "Rory go clean up, it's almost time to go to school" I grabbed a paper towel and wiped up Vaughn's face and the milk splatters that were across the table. "good morning Evie girl" Paul bent over and kissed her on the top of her head before he made his way to Vincent's bouncer where he was sleeping. "how is my boy" he spoke to him softly. "no daddy hold me" Murphy wrapped her arms around his leg holding on with all her strength. "I'll hold you in a little bit sweetie" he peeled her off and proceeded to pick Vincent up.

Waking him up in the process, Vincent was now wailing at the top of his lungs. I sighed "did you really have to do that?" I spat at him. "Steph relax will you, maybe Marissa was right" he huffed as he climbed the stairs holding Vincent. I wasn't going to let that slide, "Right about what?" I yelled going after him. He was in Vincent's room on the rocking chair. "mommy isn't herself right now, she just is so on edge and maybe even a little crazy" he spoke as he rocked our son. I opened the door "I'm crazy? Is that what Marissa said? I'll kill her" I wasn't going to drop this. "let it go, she just said maybe you need some medication and Steph I tend to agree with her" he said it so casually that he made it seem normal. I wasn't crazy and I certainly did not need any medication. "I'm taking the girls to school, hopefully I don't do anything too crazy on the way, do you want to take them since I am so unstable" I threw his words back in his face. I slammed the door and went back to the kitchen.

"mommy why were you and daddy yelling?" Aurora questioned as I led the way to the car. I sighed "it's nothing Ror, don't worry about it okay princess" I faked a smile. I couldn't let my kids see how unhappy we were, I mean we barely saw each other and when he did come home I just wished he was gone. "mommy can't I stay home with daddy today?" Murphy whispered from the back seat struggling to get her seatbelt on. I leaned back and helped her "not today, maybe tomorrow" I started the car once all the kids were situated in their seats.

Twenty minutes later I dropped Murphy and Aurora off at school. It was just Evie and I now. "mommy are you okay?" she spoke up from the back seat. I wiped at the tears that were falling down my face before I answered "yes, baby girl I'm fine" it wasn't their fault that everything just seemed to be falling apart right now. Before Vincent I remember the fire and passion that was still burning strongly between Paul and I, it's safe to say that Vincent being born has burned it out.

Saturday morning came rather fast, it felt like each day was an exact replica of the previous one. We have done nothing but fight the entire time he has been home. I swear if he calls me crazy one more time I really am going to go crazy. I'm not crazy, okay so maybe I am a little more moody than normal; and stressed sure but who wouldn't be stressed.

I sat on the porch holding my coffee cup in my hand. I had been sitting out here since four when Vincent wouldn't go back to sleep. Paul offered to get up with him but I could still hear him crying even with him being down the hall. "morning mommy" Aurora came out and sat down next to me. I leaned over and hugged her "morning Rory" I put on that fake smile that I have been wearing for a while now. "are you and daddy getting a divorce?" she was more grown up than I thought she was. I turned to her and smiled "no sweetie we are not getting a divorce, what makes you ask that?" I was curious what brought this up; although I shouldn't be surprised with all the yelling going on around here.

"well, Sarah my friend from school her mommy and daddy got divorced and she said that all they did was yell at each other, and then her daddy moved out and never came home" she was starting to cry. I set my coffee cup down and wrapped my arms around her. "don't worry that isn't going to happen, daddy will always come home, he won't leave you girls I promise" I wiped away her tears with my finger tips. "is it my fault that daddy and you don't love each other anymore?" she continued on with her questions. I shook my head "we do love each other Rory, this is a grown up problem. I don't want you to think about this anymore, understand?" I wanted her to get this idea out of her head, this wasn't something she needed to be stressed about. "okay mommy" she whispered, if she was anything like me I knew she wasn't going to let this go.

We went inside together, Paul was sitting on the couch with Murphy and Vincent. Evie was sitting on the floor playing with her doll. "can we talk" I used a calm voice, I had to work harder to keep myself calm in front of the children. "sure" he stood up and put Vincent in his bouncer before he followed me into the kitchen.

"we need to stop fighting" I fidgeted with my wedding band as I spoke to him. He laughed "and you are just realizing this now, if you would just go see a doctor. Steph I think you have postpartum depression" I rolled my eyes when he said that. "I do not, when did you become a god damn doctor, diagnosing me like you even know what you are talking about" I lost it, I couldn't keep my voice down. "clearly there is something wrong Steph, you do nothing but yell at me all the time and I hear you crying at night time so don't think you are hiding it" surprisingly he wasn't yelling back at me. "I can't believe you would even say that. It isn't even true" I was whispering now. I could feel the tears starting to fill my eyes. I didn't want to cry and prove him right, it wasn't unusual to cry after having a baby, this was all normal it was going to get better. "come here" he pulled me onto his lap. "I love you, I just want you back to how you use to be. I just worry about you that's all. So will you please just think about talking to someone" he rubbed tiny circles on my back while he spoke to me. I laid my head against him. "I guess" i wanted things to go back to how they use to be, sitting here like this was a reminder of how much i missed how we use to be.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Another month passed and things weren't getting much easier, Vincent was now four months old and growing like crazy. "mommy I want to go to the park today please" Aurora asked as I was standing by the sink cleaning the morning dishes. "sure we can go get ready sweetie" I turned off the water and dried my hands on the towel that was hanging by the sink. I entered the living room and picked Vincent out of his bouncer. "want to go to the playground Vinnie?" I cuddled him against my chest as I walked towards the stairs with him. "mommy I don't want to go" Murphy threw herself at my feet and started to have another one of her breakdowns. "Murphy just calm down please" it was frustrating sometimes because I could never make all four kids happy at once. "mean mommy" she stood up and smacked me. "just go to your room I'll be in to talk to you when I'm done changing your brother." I shouted at her. I didn't mean to yell at her but she couldn't keep acting out. It seemed that her behavior has gotten worse ever since Paul stopped coming home as often. He was busy helping my dad run things while I was gone taking care of the kids. "mommy I'm ready" Aurora poked her head into Vincent's room. I smiled at her "go play while I get Vinnie ready" she nodded before she skipped away.

I fed him, changed him and put him down for a quick nap. I heard the front door open and slam shut, another thing we were always fighting about, his carelessness when he entered the house. "daddy!" I could hear Murphy shout as she ran down the steps. I left Vincent's room and walked down the hall towards the steps. "hey baby girl" I watched him kiss her gently on the head before he walked past her, another reason she was acting so terrible all the time. When Paul would come home he only wanted to spend time with Vincent, it's almost like he forgot he had three daughters who needed him too. "come with me daddy I want to show you what I can do" she grabbed onto his hand and tried to pull him towards the back yard. "not now Smurf I'm going to go see your brother" he pulled his hand away. "I just put him down to sleep, let him sleep go spend time with your daughter" I put my hand on his chest stopping him from walking. "don't tell me what to do" he shouted pushing me aside. "are you serious Paul? You haven't spent any time with your daughters since Vincent came home, and on top of that you are barely home" I yelled back going after him. "Steph, not now. I don't want to come home and deal with your constant nagging. So do me a favor just leave me alone" he shut the door in my face. I wanted to go in there and yell at him but it wouldn't do any good; it was then I realized our marriage was falling apart.

Murphy was in her room crying. I opened the door slowly and approached her bed. "mommy, daddy doesn't love me anymore" she allowed me to pick her up, I held her against my body. "he does love you Smurfie, but he doesn't love me" I whispered the last part. "why is daddy so mean" she asked me lifting her head from my shoulder. I wiped away her tears "I don't know sweetie" I shook my head sadly I didn't know what to tell her. "want to go to the park?" I asked her. She nodded sliding off my lap. I helped her pick out clothes to wear and left her to get dressed.

"mommy I ready" Evie called from her room. I went into her room and she was dressed in her princess costume that she wore last Halloween. "you look beautiful baby girl" she giggled as I picked her up and showered her face in kisses. "get your shoes and meet me downstairs, and go tell Rory that we are ready to go" I set her down and she ran off. "ready to apologize?" I went into Vincent's room. Paul was sitting there holding him on the rocking chair. He looked up for a moment before he looked back down. "cant say I am" he mumbled. I rolled my eyes "why don't you get him ready and we can go to the park together, as a family" he shook his head no "I'm going to stay here with him, you can take the girls"

I left the room without saying another word. I wish he could see that our marriage was falling apart. He never wanted to spend any time with me and he was neglecting our girls. I loved Vincent too but I made sure that I gave attention to all of my children as much as possible. I really don't know what happened to Paul.

Thirty minutes later we arrived at the park. As soon as they were out of the car all three of them took off running in different directions. "stay where I can see you, and stay together please" I yelled after them. I smiled when I saw Evie and Murphy run after Aurora. I finally caught up to them and took a seat on the bench in front of the jungle gym where they were playing. "mommy watch this" Murphy shouted as she did a cartwheel on the grass. She had been practicing all week and couldn't wait to show her dad. It was sad that he didn't even care. "that is awesome Smurfie you are doing such a great job" I praised her. She smiled and went back to playing.

After an hour of playing I decided it was time for lunch. "what do you want for lunch?" I asked as we walked back towards the car. I was shocked to see Paul walking towards us. "hey" he spoke so casually it made me more angry. "hi" I replied softly. "I'm sorry" I smiled that meant a lot that he would come all the way here to apologize. "thank you" I wrapped my arms around him squeezing him. "I don't know what my problem is but I'll work harder to make sure I pay attention to the girls too"

Later that night after all the kids were in bed Paul joined me in our room. That was the first time in a while. He sat down on the bed slowly. "what happened to us?" I broke the silence that was brewing between us for weeks maybe even months now. "I don't know Steph, I guess we are just growing apart" he paused after that. I sat down next to him and took his hand in mine. "don't say it please" It swallowed hard, a lump was forming in my throat. "we will get through this. I'm not going to give you up this easily. Maybe we just need a vacation, get away from this place and enjoy each other again" I smiled I loved his suggestions, we would just need to find someone to take all four of our children. "split the kids or have one person watch them all?" I asked. He shrugged "we will figure it out, we wont be able to go for a month or so anyway, work is really busy" he pulled his hand free from mine. "do you still love me?" I was longing to hear him say it to me again. "of course I love you Steph, we just hit a little bump in the road but we are stronger than whatever is happening right now between us" he finally turned towards me and leaned closer, he pressed his lips against mine gently.

I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. "I miss you" I whispered against his lips. "me too babe, me too" he pulled back after only a few minutes of kissing. Something was off about him but I couldn't figure out what it was. "I'm pretty tired, mind if we continue this later?" I shrugged moving back creating some space between us. "yeah, I guess" his lips pressed against my forehead before he laid down and was on his side. I walked around to my side of the bed and did the same. A few tears rolled down my cheeks, I hadn't even noticed I was crying until I could taste the saltiness of the tears. I sure hoped that whatever was wrong with Paul and me that we were strong enough to fix it. The last thing my children need is for their parents to be divorced.

A few hours later I was woken up by Vincent who was crying. His sleeping was improving a little bit each night which made things easier. I rolled out of bed, that was when I noticed Paul wasn't next to me anymore. I entered Vincent's room first and picked him up from the crib. I would find out where Paul was after I was done feeding him. "mommy" Murphy called walking into Vincent's room. "what is it Smurf?" I replied softly. I didn't want Vincent to think it was time to play. "who is daddy talking to downstairs?" she approached me dragging her blanket behind her. "I don't know Murphy, go back to sleep I'll find out when I get Vinnie back to sleep" I finished nursing him and put him back in his crib.

I walked Murphy back to her room and tucked her in again before I walked down the stairs. I could hear the voices, it was obvious that he had someone here. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who he was talking too….


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"What the hell is she doing in our house" I shouted. I could not believe my eyes that Joanie was sitting on my couch with my husband. "it's not what you think Steph" Paul jumped up immediately. "hello Stephanie" the way she said it just made me want to hit her even more. "get out now, and you I can't believe you would do this in our house when our children are upstairs" I was crying as I turned away and ran back up the steps towards our room. Now it made sense, the reason our marriage was falling apart was because he was making it.

I crawled into bed and not two minutes after he was beside me. "Steph it isn't what you think we are just friends" those words rang in my head over and over again those are the exact words he told Joanie all those years before and it wasn't true. My stomach immediately started to hurt. "then why all the sneaking around? And why would you bring her into our house?" I acted angry but I was more hurt than angry. It hurt that after all we had been through that he would sneak behind my back with her. I thought we had something special, I mean ten years of marriage and four children, I never would have thought anything like this would happen.

"I'm sorry, okay I told her to leave. And I won't see her anymore if it bothers you that much" he sort of mumbled that. I sat up and glared at him, the pain was obvious on my face "seriously? If it bothers me that much?" I shouted at him. I picked up the lamp and had every urge to throw it when I saw our door creak open. "mommy, some lady just took Vinnie" it was Aurora she was rubbing her eyes. I jumped out of the bed and ran down the steps, her car was gone, and so was my son.

"This is all your fault" I yelled at him as I ran back into the house. I fumbled with the phone so I could call the police. She wasn't going to get away with taking my son. "mommy is Vinnie coming back?" Aurora was tugging on my shirt. "yes Rory now just go back to sleep okay baby girl" I remained calm in from of her I didn't want to scare her. "okay mommy, the lady wanted to take me too but I didn't let her" panic consumed my entire body. I left Aurora in the living room and raced up the steps to check on Evie and Murphy. "Thank God" my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode. I closed their doors and went back downstairs. "I know where she lives I'll just go get him I'm sure its just a joke" I wanted to hit him; actually make that kill him. How could he be so calm right now. Joanie is crazy psycho ex stole my baby; and he brought her back into our lives. "just a joke? Paul kidnapping isn't a joke and when they find her and they will she is going to jail I don't give a fuck if she is your friend or not" I finally dialed 911.

"hello what is your emergency" the dispatcher answered. I was crying so hard it was hard to speak clearly. "she took him" was all I managed to get out. "took who ma'am?" I took a deep breath in before I replied "she took my son, my baby" I resumed crying hysterically after I finished answering her. "okay miss we will be sending officers over to your house right away. What is your address?" I wanted to shout at them the longer it took them to get here the farther away she was going to get. "4257 west Oak street" I hung up the phone so I could call my parents. "who are you calling now?" Paul still was so calm it bothered me. "why are you so damn calm?" I shouted a little louder then I intended, one by one my children came down the stairs. "what's going on mommy?" Murphy asked. "just go back to sleep girls" I didn't want them to see me like this.

I waited until the girls went back upstairs before I approached Paul and smacked him clear across his face. I was hurt, angry and terrified what if Joanie harmed my son. I would never forgive him for this. "I'll go to her house, I'm sorry Steph" he didn't even care that I just hit him. He grabbed keys and headed out of the house. I paced back and forth in the living room until the cops showed up. It wasn't long after that my parents arrived. I hadn't even called them I don't know how they knew. "Rory called us, Princess we are going to find him" my father hugged me. I laid my head against his shoulder like I had when I was a little girl and sobbed. "daddy, this is all Paul's fault, he brought her to our house, he gave her access to our children, I think he is cheating on me" I felt hopeless for the first time in my life. "it's going to be okay" I wanted to believe him but how could my dad possibly know what intentions Joanie had with taking Vincent.

"dad, has Paul been working extra is that why he hasn't been home?" I needed to know if he was being honest about that. "Just the normal Monday thru Friday dear he should have been home every weekend with exception for Pay per views" my knees gave out after I heard that, my entire world just came crashing down ontop of me. That just confirmed my suspicions; Paul was cheating on me, but why?

I woke up the next morning in my bed, I'm not even sure how I got here. The last thing I remember was collapsing in my daddy's arms. "mommy are you feeling better?" Murphy climbed onto my bed. I sat up and forced myself to smile; really all I wanted to do was break down. "a little bit" she wrapped her arms around me. "I love you mommy" she kissed my cheek before she squirmed out of my arms and jumped off my bed. Normally I would correct her for jumping off the bed but today I just didn't have the energy.

When I went downstairs my mom was in the kitchen making breakfast, Rory and Evie were sitting at the counter. "where is he?" I was asking about Paul. "I'll talk to you as soon as I dish out their breakfast" I could see behind my mother's smile. I knew Paul hadn't come home last night. "daddy" I heard Murphy shouting in the living room as the front door closed. I stood at the door way and just stared at him. There was so much I wanted to say to him but I felt like I was frozen.

"can I talk to you outside?" he wouldn't even look at me when he asked. I nodded and followed him through the living room and then the front door. I took a seat on the swing, my arms crossed against my chest. "I went to her house and she wasn't there" his eyes were still looking down at the ground. "obviously because if she was there I would have my baby in my arms right now, he is probably starving he doesn't drink formula" although I wanted to I wasn't yelling at him. "listen I'm sorry I let this happen, we will get him back I promise" he sat down next to me and tried to grab my hand but I just pushed it away. "don't touch me, and another thing pack your bags I don't want you here until my son is home" I had enough and was done talking, there wasn't anything left to say. I stood up and went back into the house.

**a/N sorry it's a little short I'm struggling with ideas for this story; if anyone has any suggestions feel free to email me them lmarquart414 **


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